So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
