Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
