Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
