before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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