he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
