Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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