How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
