She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
