It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
