so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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