You're my little dorito
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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