yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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