She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You can't motorboat a personality
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
