you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
