but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
