i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
