***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
