Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
