i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
