Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
