Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
