it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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