how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
