He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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