what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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