We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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