He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
