I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
