so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
