That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
