have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
