dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
