Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
