I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
