I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
