i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
