You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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