He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
