I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
