What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
