it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just pee around me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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