You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
