it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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