I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
