Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hippo gnu deer
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
