I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
