She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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