Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
