Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
