Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
