walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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