I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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