I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i think im in europe. pls send help
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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