I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
