Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
