I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
